The process of grief is different for each person. The intensity and duration can depend on how much trauma was involved in the initial event. For example, the death of a spouse is so much closer to our sense of wellbeing than the death of an acquaintance. It can also depend on how that death occurred – was it expected, was it natural causes, was it an accident, or murder?
When I was asked what it was like for me to lose my husband I would say it was like having a leg amputated. Now I have never had that happen, but I would never want it to either. I cannot even imagine what that would do to my sense of bodily integrity and self image. But it was the best simile I could think of that the questioner might relate to.
There may be some comfort to know that the initial pain and shock eventually softens and is integrated into memory. The event or person will never be forgotten, the intensity of emotion will ease.
