Services – Let's Talk Together

Healing and recovery from grief, trauma, and loss

Grief Education Services

Here on the services page we talk about Kintsugi, the ancient Japanese art of restoring broken vessels back to their original use. The pieces are brought together by adding precious metals making the vessel more beautiful than before.

It is a wonderful metaphor for healing in grief. The precious metals offered here are understanding what grief is and what has happened to us, support in our journey and a community of sharing.

We are all touched by grief in some way or another. It is a hero’s journey, rarely volunteered for, mainly thrust upon us. It requires us to be open in our pain, brave and curious.

One thing that makes me smile more than anything else, and often brings tears to my eyes is seeing someone who has overcome life’s challenges and hardships, embraces their authentic self, and shares their skills and talents with their world.

By being here now you are a hero on your journey to healing.

Let me be your biggest fan!

Look through our services and get in touch.

Our grief must be spoken and heard to be healed.

Private conversation is a good way to start your healing journey because you can say what you need to say, cry, and vent within a supportive environment.

There is no judgement here. We understand the grieving process, what happens to those who experience grief and to the people around the grievor. We are here to see you through to hope and healing.

1-on-1 Private Counselling

First Session FREE

$80 per hour a la carte

$300 for 4 sessions

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Kintsugi Grief Café

ONLINE: Tuesdays 9am PST. Wednesdays 6pm PST
This is a discussion group, facilitated by Cathy, where individuals may opt to share their story, concerns and ideas. FIND OUT MORE

It is online. In person groups can be arranged based on local interest.

The group operates on the value that we each have a need and a right to speak our truth in a safe environment. By entering into the discussion space, participants commit to:

Share on a volunteer basis.
Ask for input if desired.
Comment only if asked
Treat each other with kindness
Respect each other’s truth – although there are commonalities in life and in grief, we each experience things according to our own view of the world.

VALUE FOR VALUE PAYMENT PROTOCOL

There is no registration fee to participate in the Kintsugi Discussion Group.

If participants feel that they gain from the discussion they may choose, on an entirely voluntary basis, to pay a dollar amount equivalent to the felt benefit. This allows Cathy and Let’s Talk Together to keep helping people understand and find solace through their grieving process.

Funds will be received in Canadian dollars.
Canadians can do an e-transfer to grieftalk1to1@gmail.com

International participants may choose whatever international payment system suits them. Contact grieftalk1to1@gmail.com to obtain whatever recipient information is required.

$5 Minimum Donation

Widow(er)s Circle

Meet over Zoom with others who have experienced the death of a spouse or partner. Dates to be announced. FIND OUT MORE

There is no registration fee to participate in the Widow(er)s Circle.

If participants feel that they gain from the discussion they may choose, on an entirely voluntary basis, to pay a dollar amount equivalent to the felt benefit.
This allows Cathy and Let’s Talk Together to keep helping people understand and find solace through their grieving process.

Funds will be received in Canadian dollars.
Canadians can do an e-transfer to grieftalk1to1@gmail.com

International participants may choose whatever international payment system suits them. Contact grieftalk1to1@gmail.com to obtain whatever recipient information is required.

PLEASE REGISTER HERE

Speaking Engagements & Workshops For Your Group Or Organization

We hear so often that ours is a grief-illiterate society. Counsellors, medical practitioners, social workers may get a a brief introduction to grief in their coursework and training, but are often not really equipped to work with the impact of grief on their patients or clients.

Care Workers often experience Compassion Overload.
COVID is cited as contributing to the increase in emotional distress in the general population.
Residents in Seniors’ Housing and care homes are often widowed, living with the loss of not only their life partner, but also their physical wellbeing and loss of their social circle.
Employees don’t leave their personal lives at home; their grief will come to work with them and impact their work quality and interaction with colleagues and clients.
Grief lasts a very long time; the care and sympathy of others does not.

Lets’ Talk Together is available to develop information meetings with your specific group – members, staff, volunteers.

FEES:
One hour presentation and question period – in person in Victoria, or online.

$200

Customized workshop comprised of information, story-telling and Q&A.
Fees negotiable.

Services Policies and Terms

The user understands that Let’s Talk Together is a Grief Education Service providing information and guidance through the grieving process.
- This is a “peer-to-peer” service offered by someone who has lived experience in a variety of traumatic settings, undergone personal counselling, taken professional training in the fields of Grief and Polyvagal Healing Techniques and is experienced in group facilitation and individual mentoring.
Code of Conduct:
- Cafe participants agree to respect the privacy, rights and sensitivity of other group participants, so that everyone feels free to share as much or as little of their story as they wish without concern about judgement, or sharing outside of the group.
- If the participant feels that their own rights, privacy or sensitivity have been disrespected, they are asked to put a hand up and speak their piece in a calm manner. The facilitator will work to resolve the matter right at that moment.
- Due to the sensitive nature of grief and trauma events, tears are not only permitted, but welcome.
- Cafe participants may comment on other group participants’ contributions, only by asking and receiving permission, or in response to an invitation for input.
- Discussions will not be recorded by the facilitator, or participants.
- Cafe participants will log in early or on time. Late arrivals can be disruptive to the flow of conversation.
Fees:
- The user understands that any and all fees and donations paid to Let’s Talk Together are not eligible as a tax deduction.
- Any monies paid to Let’s Talk Together will not be refunded.
- In lieu of repayment the user has the following options:
  - If the Cafe drop-in fee has been paid but the user is unable to attend, he/she may attend a subsequent meeting in lieu of payment for that occasion.
  - Private discussions:
    - Payment is required at the time of booking.
    - Given at least one day’s advance notice, private discussions may be rebooked.
    - ‘No show’s will not be rebooked; any future discussions will be paid as usual.
  - If none of the above options are workable, the user will consider the paid fee to be a donation.

FAQs

How long does grieving take?

The process of grief is different for each person. The intensity and duration can depend on how much trauma was involved in the initial event. For example, the death of a spouse is so much closer to our sense of wellbeing than the death of an acquaintance. It can also depend on how that death occurred – was it expected, was it natural causes, was it an accident, or murder?

When I was asked what it was like for me to lose my husband I would say it was like having a leg amputated. Now I have never had that happen, but I would never want it to either. I cannot even imagine what that would do to my sense of bodily integrity and self image. But it was the best simile I could think of that the questioner might relate to.

There may be some comfort to know that the initial pain and shock eventually softens and is integrated into memory. The event or person will never be forgotten, the intensity of emotion will ease.

I had a miscarriage a few months ago. While people expressed sympathy when it happened, no one wants to talk about it any more. But I still mourn the loss of that baby. I want to say I have 3 children, not only the two who are alive. People just don’t understand.

I cannot imagine how hard this is for you. Absolutely you have three children. I encourage you to search online for support groups for miscarriage support groups. They meet online and there may be an in-person group in your area. A supportive community is so important for any grief, especially the ‘disenfranchised’ ones.

Why am I so tired all the time? Sometimes I can barely get out of bed.

That is what grief does to our brain. It is wired for ‘fight, flight or freeze’ and ‘rest and digest’. Grief is the brain’s freeze response to a perceived threat that is so devastating that it doesn’t know what to do to protect us. So we slow down, take to our couch, maybe barely eat and certainly curtail most activity. We experience brain fog and fatigue. It may take a few days to slowly come back to life. If it takes many weeks or months some professional medical assistance is likely warranted. However long it takes we want to see a progression from intense fatigue to restoring an active life.

Why doesn’t my family feel as terrible as I do?

Grieving is an individual experience. How we grieve depends on so many factors which are unique to our own life experience. Some people let their feelings out; they cry or get angry, or both. Others go on about daily life, keep it all inside, trying to make sense of what has just happened in their own way. But they are not comfortable sharing their feelings with anyone, or maybe just a select few. Still others get busy. Action helps ease the feelings that are roiling around inside.

The best way to manage these differences is to let them be. No judgement. They will find their way back. If you are someone who needs to talk and share, a grief group may be the best solution, rather than depending on family members who do things differently than you.